Have you ever said, “Part of me wants (X) and Part of me wants (Y)?”
You feel like there is literally an inner conflict within your thoughts or being. Being dual-minded like this can cause stress when part of us wants to do one thing and another part does not, or ignores it.
For example, part of me wants to start off the New Year by eating healthy and exercising so that I feel better physically and about myself in general. While the other part of me wants to order pizza and binge-watch my favorite shows, curled up on the couch with my dogs.
There has to be something driving this behavior within us because, at least for me, consciously I know what is best for me and what will make me feel good in the end.
Well, there is something “intentionally” driving us toward the behavior that gives us some form of comfort or ease, it is a Positive Intention.
When we are young we try on behaviors, some work, others don’t. We keep what works, even if they are not all that useful or appropriate because they create a positive outcome for us at some point. This is the foundation of every behavior having a Positive Intention.
Try this Paradigm in for a bit:
Every Behavior and Experience has a Positive Intention
For example, as a child, I had several medical issues, doctor's appointments, and blood drawn almost weekly. As a “reward” my mother would take me for lunch, or a “treat” like ice cream every time I had a doctor's appointment or had to have a procedure. The ingrained behavior for me was that whenever I was afraid, hurt, or unsure of myself I turned to food because it became a comfort to me. The Positive Intention of seeking and eating the food was to calm and soothe myself.
Perhaps the Positive Intention protected us from feeling hurt, afraid, or made us feel loved and safe. These are all very valid intentions.
The Key is, you developed those behaviors as a child who did not understand the world yet. Now you have learned new skills, experienced new ways of dealing with the world and can manage your emotions so the world is not so as scary and unknown to you.
What you can do now is;
1. Appreciate Today—You made it! You and your Positive intention survived today!!
2. Gratitude—to your Positive Intentions for all the Good work it did taking care of you.
3. Hold a New Vision for where You as the Adult in Charge of your world can go from here!!!
4. Seek New Alternatives to the old ways of doing things, new options, and opportunities.
This is how Your Life’s Greatest Challenges become your Life-abilities!!!
For a copy of a Print Graphic of this Exercise, follow the link for your copy of
After applying the steps above, I would love to hear what new “Intentions” you set for yourself and the “Life-abilities” you developed.
Reach out to me at:
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Is there a Current State you want to change?
Can you identify the Positive Intention that Blocks you from changing?
If not, and you are struggling to find a new vision or alternatives to old positive intentions in your life, and you want help to overcome this.
Please, reach out to me through the contacts in my Bio and my Website link for a Free 30-minute call to discuss your situation further.